Harnessing Beginner’s Mind
Originally posted Jan 23 2023
I’m learning how to skate ski. It’s Nordic Skiing, but instead of classic skiing, where the skis are held parallel, with skate skiing, the skis are in a V shape. As a result, the motion is more side-to-side rather than out-front.
Do you remember the scene in Bambi when he hits the patch of ice and can’t stand up? Yeah, that’s me on skate skis.
I took group lessons on Wednesdays and Fridays with three other women. We all get along and encourage each other. We did this for the past three weeks. It was just enough to learn the basics and long enough to get it all confused in my head. V1? Yes, that’s for uphill. Got it. I’d tackle the hill with determination, then mix up the pole movements and look like a baby giraffe, limbs flailing awkwardly. The giraffe would morph into a duck on skis, and I’d waddle up, having lost my momentum.
It sucks to be a beginner. Unfortunately, as adults, we approach challenges as though we are born to do them. The ego is a mighty beast that stops many people from trying new things because they aren’t experts right out of the gate.
‘Shoshin’ is Japanese and is a concept from Zen Buddhism meaning beginner’s mind. It encourages us to have an attitude of openness, eagerness, and lack of preconception. It’s giving yourself permission to not be an expert and to not judge yourself for lack of experience. So far, I’m the only one in class who has fallen. And guess what? I’ve done it in every single fricking class. So when I wailed to the teacher, “Why am I falling?” she smiled and said, “Because you’re trying.”
I decided that it was okay that I looked gangly. It’s okay that I keep falling. I haven’t cried, pouted, or stomped a single toe in frustration. I’m pretty proud of that. Laura, our instructor, gave us words of wisdom. She pointed to some kids who were ripping past us. She said to watch them; they’re fearless. They don’t know that they aren’t good. All they know is that they’re learning something new. So, they go for it and keep trying. Her smile was broad when she said; it’s the trying that eventually makes you good.
My husband and I took a private lesson with her yesterday when it was zero degrees outside. Luckily, it was sunny. He’s never skate skied either, so now we have two baby giraffes taking up the track. About halfway through our lesson, my ego broke. I was cold, we hadn’t slept well, and I’d been trying “too hard” to “do it right.” I just kept screwing it all up. Finally, something in me shrugged its shoulders and gave up. But we still had to ski back to the Nordic Center. So, I pushed off slowly and focused on keeping my knees bent (less chance of falling) and my core tight. That was it. I forgot about the skis, the poles, what I was supposed to be doing, whether or not it looked graceful, and just…skied.
I heard Laura’s whoop of delight behind me. “That’s it! You got it!”
I made a few more strokes before I stood up too much and fell. But for those few moments, I had it. I was skate-skiing.
So, my friends, it’s better to acknowledge that when you attempt to do something for the first time, you’re going to suck. Straight-up. The key is not to give up because of it.
Next year, I may even make it more than fifty feet before I fall. Here’s hoping.